Saturday 3 September 2016

Why I Insist Upon Monogamy, It's About Trust.



Perfect inner peace, soul contentment, the tender equilibrium that fosters an open hearted communion with the infinite; this is a fragile state of the utmost delicacy for the majority of us. It does not come easily, but from a great deal of surrender, sacrifice, a visceral opening as raw and as powerful as the rising sun yet as susceptible to ruin as the timely drying of a dragonfly's shrivelled wings upon it's emergence from the cocoon. 

It is for these reasons that the life of the devoted aspirant should be balanced, exhibiting a harmony with it's surrounds and it's content. We must take care then to eliminate all that may upset this balance. The undesirable emotions of the heart, the fears and doubts of the mind; the seven deadly sins, so called for their propensity to upset this fragile communion rather than their inherent badness per se, they must be kept at bay and not fostered by the acceptance of any situation that may harbour or feed them. 

This is the inner purity spoken of in yogic scripture, the right thought of the dharma. We must cultivate a pure and healthy soil of our momentary experience that seeds of negativity do not sprout and grow. A large part of this is our relationships; professional, friendships, but most of all the romantic. How can we maintain any sense of open hearted trust within our being when our loved one, who lays beside us as we sleep in utter vulnerability, is a source of doubt? 

If we suspect that our partner may be abusing our trust and cheating or lying to us then any sense of that tender communion with the Divine is lost. The suspicion, doubt, fear, jealousy or anger fostered by their possible unfaithfulness is a poison that eradicates all the tender blooms of our devotion.

This is not to say that all relationships must be monogamous by rigid law, for we have free will to live of our own choosing. But for one who seeks to forge a crucible of their life strong and pure enough to contain the search for the Divine within their own heart, caution must be shown when choosing a partner.

The gifts that can be brought into a relationship from the depths of one's being, the tenderness, sweetness, the opening to the far reaches of our being from unafraid intimacy to animal passion, may often be cultured only in such an environment as of which we speak. Many may be happier in a more accepting relationship, forgiving and allowing of such amorous wanderings as one fancies, and that is all well and good, but for some of us, maybe just a few, we need to dive deeper, to the very depths, and hence we must make certain rules to maintain the integrity of the vehicle that takes us down so far into our souls. There is no judgement here, just preference, until one breaks the vows that both accepted. Then there may be judgement, retribution, you may very well meet the devil himself if you cross one who has the bravery to show you their angel. That's just the nature of the game, both sides of the coin are equally present in such a being. If you dance with dragons you would do well to dance with integrity. Their fire can melt diamonds.


If we trust one with our heart who will abuse the honour of our trust then surely our state of mind will find itself in turmoil and the soft light of divine communion be overshadowed by dark clouds of tumultuous suffering. 


Better then to cultivate our devotion alone, safe from such impurities of thought and feeling than to offer our precious trust to one who we feel would take the fruits of shared devotion and offer them to the mouth of another behind the very back they were entrusted to protect.

But how do we choose such a one, how can we really know who is to be trusted with such a precious gift?

I do not know, and therein enters the element of chaos without which life would be a stale conveyer belt from birth to grave.