Why I Insist Upon Monogamy, It's About Trust.

Perfect inner peace, soul contentment, the tender equilibrium that fosters an open hearted communion with the infinite; this is a fragile state of the utmost delicacy for the majority of us. It does not come easily, but from a great deal of surrender, sacrifice, a visceral opening as raw and as powerful as the rising sun yet as susceptible to ruin as the timely drying of a dragonfly's shrivelled wings upon it's emergence from the cocoon. 

It is for these reasons that the life of the devoted aspirant should be balanced, exhibiting a harmony with it's surrounds and it's content. We must take care then to eliminate all that may upset this balance. The undesirable emotions of the heart, the fears and doubts of the mind; the seven deadly sins, so called for their propensity to upset this fragile communion rather than their inherent badness per se, they must be kept at bay and not fostered by the acceptance of any situation that may harbour or feed them. 

This is the inner purity spoken of in yogic scripture, the right thought of the dharma. We must cultivate a pure and healthy soil of our momentary experience that seeds of negativity do not sprout and grow. A large part of this is our relationships; professional, friendships, but most of all the romantic. How can we maintain any sense of open hearted trust within our being when our loved one, who lays beside us as we sleep in utter vulnerability, is a source of doubt? 

If we suspect that our partner may be abusing our trust and cheating or lying to us then any sense of that tender communion with the Divine is lost. The suspicion, doubt, fear, jealousy or anger fostered by their possible unfaithfulness is a poison that eradicates all the tender blooms of our devotion.

This is not to say that all relationships must be monogamous by rigid law, for we have free will to live of our own choosing. But for one who seeks to forge a crucible of their life strong and pure enough to contain the search for the Divine within their own heart, caution must be shown when choosing a partner.

The gifts that can be brought into a relationship from the depths of one's being, the tenderness, sweetness, the opening to the far reaches of our being from unafraid intimacy to animal passion, may often be cultured only in such an environment as of which we speak. Many may be happier in a more accepting relationship, forgiving and allowing of such amorous wanderings as one fancies, and that is all well and good, but for some of us, maybe just a few, we need to dive deeper, to the very depths, and hence we must make certain rules to maintain the integrity of the vehicle that takes us down so far into our souls. There is no judgement here, just preference, until one breaks the vows that both accepted. Then there may be judgement, retribution, you may very well meet the devil himself if you cross one who has the bravery to show you their angel. That's just the nature of the game, both sides of the coin are equally present in such a being. If you dance with dragons you would do well to dance with integrity. Their fire can melt diamonds.

If we trust one with our heart who will abuse the honour of our trust then surely our state of mind will find itself in turmoil and the soft light of divine communion be overshadowed by dark clouds of tumultuous suffering. 

Better then to cultivate our devotion alone, safe from such impurities of thought and feeling than to offer our precious trust to one who we feel would take the fruits of shared devotion and offer them to the mouth of another behind the very back they were entrusted to protect.

But how do we choose such a one, how can we really know who is to be trusted with such a precious gift?

I do not know, and therein enters the element of chaos without which life would be a stale conveyer belt from birth to grave.

A Response to Hafiz

A Response to Hafiz

Some Fill With Each Good Rain, by Hafiz

“There are different wells within your heart.

Some fill with each good rain,

Others are far too deep for that.

In one well

You have just a few precious cups of water,

That “love” is literally something of yourself,

It can grow as slow as a diamond

If it is lost.

Your love

Should never be offered to the mouth of a

Stranger,

Only to someone

Who has the valour and daring

To cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

Then weave them into a blanket

To protect you.

There are different wells within us.

Some fill with each good rain,

Others are far, far too deep

For that.”

It is late, I cannot sleep and the heart spirals in the dark silence, so I offer a response. 

The knife is sharp. 

The well deep, imperceptibly so. 

Few people have tasted of this precious love.

They are more likely to cut pieces from your own soul 

with a rusty blade 

and tangle the scraps into a tattered rag 

to protect themselves from a passing storm

Before discarding it

To chase butterflies in the sun.

We hope,

We long for,

We deserve

The warmth and the sweetness of one

Who can sat beside us and weave

Before the roaring fire of our shared devotion. 

. . . and then it started to flow

Poetry is strong and moves through me like a tender storm this evening. 

Those who know me will attest to my fire but not my delicacy. These past few days have seen that change, a softening has occurred, grasping became a caress and my soul found it's voice. It may not sing aloud but in every moment it cries silently for the beauty of being. 

I have found some special souls these past few days and my heart weeps for the memories it had forgotten it had forgotten. It took many ways and long times of working but finally the chains fell of their own accord. 

A gypsy gave my heart wings and my soul soared, it dared to dream again and the dreams are written on the wings of angels, and demons, may their sweet love making give us muse our hearts crack in trying to comprehend. 

And can I speak of the visionary? 

I fear to, for words would cripple her sight.

The Door is Open

Bittersweet longing, wanton, unrequited. 

Potent yearning brimming with hope. 

There is a shard of promise 

in that hope, 

like glass it shines 

and like glass it cuts. 

We can live a long time on hope alone, 

empty fuel, delusion made truth by power of imagination. 

Crazy in love, but . . . . still . . . . there is hope. 

And should our reaching hand find friendly fingers intertwined, 

the heart skips a beat, 

a bar, 

the heart skips with delight. 

Then there is the loving, 

the falling, 

the fooling, 

the sticky extrication. 

Every rose loses it's fragrance to rot.

In regret bitter knows no sweet. 

Better then to live in hope without risking loss,

or to suffer the torture of longing fulfilled?

But what of the other love, 

so pure, so complete,

so very much so there is no need to compete?

My heart sings in simply knowing. 

I celebrate your freedom,

offer you a golden cage

with no door. 

The space you may never visit again, 

holy by your absence, 

because that hole bears your shape. 

Memory of you a silent song. 

The sun dims in awe and stars cluster to adorn your dreams. 

Dreams dream of you, and I with them. 

What makes the difference then between these types of love? 

Heaven and hell inhabit the same coin, 

is it the chance of the toss, 

is it the hand of Fate that decides?

I wish I knew. 

How I wish I knew. 

Understanding The Methylation Cycle

This entry is a quick guide to help you get started on understanding and optimizing your methylation cycle. I have included a very basic explanation of each step of the process, just enough to help you get started. I will not be available to answer questions or help anyone in any way, I just wanted to put this info here to provide a starting point for those who are interested.

I am not medically or scientifically trained and any info I have posted here is based upon my own limited study and should be considered incomplete and unreliable, but it's enough to get your pointed in the right direction.


What is Methylation?

Simply put, methylation is the chemical process whereby your body detoxifies, renews your DNA and provides all the necessary chemicals and neurotransmitters for physical and mental health. For a more in depth explanation read here:  METHYLATION and Methylation 

The two main test to be done are:


1) Genome testing - https://www.23andme.com/

This will tell you what genetic manipulations you have inherited from your parents that affect the genes associated with the methylation cycle. Each gene will be running at either 100%, 70% or 30% depending upon whether you have inherited a genetic manipulation from none, one or both parents. You will pay $99 and receive a test tube in the mail which you spit into and return. After a few weeks you will get a genealogy report and a packet of raw data.

You can upload the raw date to http://geneticgenie.org/ and the website will give you a table of your methylation genes and a basic report that explains what your manipulations are and how they affect your methylation cycle. There is a lot of good info in here that you can get started with and it will give you a basic understanding of what issues affect you and how.

However, it has been my experience from time spent on internet forums that most people do not understand enough to successfully treat themselves based upon their genome test results alone, although many are trying as it is the cheapest test. The information is useful but is not enough in itself to help you make a diagnosis.



2) Full Metabolic Panel Test -

basic test  - http://pyroluriatesting.com/shop/ 

with analysis  - http://pyroluriatesting.com/shop/shop/


This test is done through a lab, I strongly recommend Direct Healthcare Access. You can either pay for the test and a professional analysis directly from the lab ($450), they are very helpful, or you can go to a functional medicine doctor or holistic doctor ( use this link to find one with the necessary training near you http://www.walshinstitute.org/clinical-resources.html ) and have them prescribe the testing for you and try to get your insurance to cover the costs.

They will test your Serum Copper and Zinc Plasma levels, in many cases high copper (caused by low zinc) is the primary cause of metal disturbances.

They will also test your Kryptopyrrole levels, if they are high then you have Pyroluria which is a condition that uses up your B6 and zinc so you have none left for the methylation cycle. This may be why copper is high and tells us how to treat it. It is thought that oxidative stress is the key cause of Pyroluria so that needs to be addressed as well as correcting zinc and copper levels.

Read more here: Pyroluria and here: Copper overload and Metals and the Mind

They will also test your Whole Blood Histamine levels. High levels will indicate under methylation, low blood histamine indicates over methylation.


Once you have your results analyzed professionally you will need to get a prescription for the correct supplements to address the deficiencies in your methylation cycle. This is where professional guidance is crucial. I spent a year trying to work it out for myself and did quite well but nowhere near as well as a correct prescription from a doctor did for me. The difference was huge and for this reason I would advise that you go through a holistic doctor who can order and analyze the tests and give you a complete prescription suited to your specific needs.

A doctor will not send you for genome testing, although they may be interested in your results if you have had it done already. I would recommend that you find a doctor from the Walsh Institute webpage that is close to you and discuss with them what they advise.

I would recommend you spend a little time reading through the Walsh Institute website to familiarize yourself with his work. He managed to successfully treat 50% of his schizophrenic patients by lowering their copper levels. This may indicate that they were not actually schizophrenic to begin with but the extreme symptoms of their high copper were close enough that they were incorrectly misdiagnosed. Other extreme symptoms of high copper can be a similarity to bipolar disorder, constant racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, anxiety, etc. 

The greatest source of zinc is red meat, so vegetarians are at great risk from low zinc, which leads to high copper since both are needed int he correct ratio to obtain a balance, if zinc is absent then copper levels will rise as a result.

For the methylation cycle methionine is needed, the greatest source of which is dietary protein, so again we see that vegetarians and vegans are at a much higher risk of not feeding the cycle properly. I was vegetarian for 13 years, whilst wearing a copper bangle much of that time, so I was at a great risk for low zinc and high copper, which was confirmed by my test results. 

It can take up to a year to address these imbalances with correct supplementation. So you can see the importance of assessing your nutrient levels accurately and sticking to an informed prescription of supplements. Please do not think that you can just work this out by yourself, you will easily spend more in incorrect and ineffective supplements over the course of a year through trial and error than you will spend on getting the right tests done at the beginning, you will also be a year ahead in obtaining optimum mental health, if this is right for you.

Again I would like to emphasize that this information is what I have collected from my own study and I am in no way medically trained to help diagnose or treat anyone in any way, this page is for informational purposes only.

The Value of Being Open to Each New Experience

Be open to each new moment. Accept with gentleness what comes and you will get the most from it. If we take a stance, a posture of defense or attack against what we think is about to happen, what we fear might hurt or control us, then we enter into the experience like a lump of wood thrown into a pool of still water. Our solid form disrupts what it meets and creates a loud splash, a collision with the people and circumstances we encounter. 

Be instead like a graceful diver, or a blade, slipping into the water with a minimum of resistance and disturbance. Be like the manager who motivates staff with support and encouragement, rather than controlling them with demands. 

Did you ever walk on a sprained ankle? Did you notice how the more you tense the damaged area in expectation of pain, the more it hurt? But to breathe naturally, fully relax the area and walk instead with gentleness we find that it hurts much less. If we tense then every tiny sensation is perceived by our mind as pain, because that is what we expect, that is the color of the lens we are looking through. When we are open, gentle and careful to notice what is actually happening we realize that there is feeling, maybe an increase in sensitivity, but it is not pain, not yet, and maybe not at all. Keeping the area relaxed we do not stress the damaged muscles and ligaments, we let the joint take the weight, just as it is designed to do. As long as we keep mindful, walk with care and don't try to push ahead we can keep walking in comfort.

We must be open to each moment, dropping the stress we usually carry with us through each experience of our everyday lives. Instead of reacting to each experience as we expect it to be, we learn to respond intuitively to each moment as it really is, we move in a harmonious dance, surfing the wave of Now and learning to accept the gifts it has has to offer.

Stepping Lightly

Stepping lightly

from moment to moment

I dance with Life.

Silent song of the stars

melody of mountains

sounds to lead my soul home

to That place

that never was.

The Distance Inside

Behind the noise of my mind there is a place of peace.

It is not far, just a single step away, but you could walk a thousand miles and never find it.

The only step that will take you there is a step taken in absolute surrender.

Come,

walk with me,

forget the idea of being in control.

If you have learnt anything by now

it should be that we are nothing more than dust on the wind.

Or we are the very wind itself.

The Bottomless Well

Waste not your love.

It is too precious to be thrown into a bottomless pit,
hoping one day to create a well.

The dry leaf feels not the coolness of water,
the fickle heart cannot return your devotion.

There is no blame,
for
sometimes
that is simply the nature of things.

How long can you chase the timid fawn through the woods,
your very approach startling it into escape?

You will tire first,
and when
exhausted
you lay down to rest,
you will not be there to feel it's gentle tongue upon your cheek.

So I say to you
all who seek thirsty lips to offer the overflowing cup,

Lay such purity and innocence where is worthy

At the altar of your own being.

And then one day,
maybe,
you will drink from the bottomless well,
the fawn beside you.

Is the coming evolution of the human species to a higher state of consciousness real or just a mass delusion of hope?

My honest opinion is that it does not matter.

If there is some evolutionary, benevolent force emanating from the source of creation through every one of us then all we need do is drop our attachment to the current way of thinking that has given us the world we see around us today, and be open to accept the growth and awakening to our full potential and true nature, working with the process instead of clinging to the seeming security the old ways of being.

If, however, none of this is true and all this fuss is a collective grasping at hope then what we have is a huge creative force at work. Millions of individuals, each with the infinite consciousness of Life itself at the core of their being, following their own idea of the best way to exist in this reality and the vast majority of them with ideas around a central theme; to realize our innate potential as beings of infinite consciousness, to become aware of the oneness of all life and to play an inspired role in the drama of life as part of that oneness.

For anyone who has experienced their own thoughts or desires creating changes and manifestations in their life around them, you will know exactly how powerful such a collective intention will be.

For those who haven't, wake up and see what you are really made of.

If enough of us choose to create this inspired reality for ourselves and in our own lives then such a collective intent will raise the frequency of the whole planet profoundly and others will surely follow suit.

All we have to do is quieten the mind, be open to inspiration and let it flow through our thoughts, speech and actions into the world around us.

Look at what the collective mental state of mankind has created on planet earth today. If we were to begin working together to create a better future for the planet and all it's inhabitants we could achieve it a lot more easily than we created the possible fatal state of the planet today.

As a species humanity is functioning at a competitive level of survival, believing that others must go without so you can have, even if it means the destruction of opposition. Even wild animals don't live this way.

What we are faced with now is the opportunity to change our way of thinking, to evolve to a higher way of understanding and living this life. We can each of us make some basic changes in our life and as a collective species mankind will be changed. The more each of us awaken and become aware of our true potential the more the species becomes aware as a collective and in this way the actions of the few affect the whole.

The change is already happening, be it driven by evolution, divine inspiration, astrological forces or simply by the realization that the current way of living doesn't work and we need to find something better before our expensive experiments cost us the earth.

The only question really left for us is whether we take part in manifesting that collective inspiration in our reality even quicker or we wait and let others do the work for us.

"We have to live this life, why not live it in the highest way?" - Paramahansa Yogananda

The Dance of Light and Dark

There is not Yin and Yang, two halves of the same thing.

There is YinYang, one complete whole with with a dualistic nature, each indivisible from the other.

When you look at the black and white symbol of YinYang you will see that black contains a speck of white and white contains a speck of black. The shape of each is determined by it's relation to it's opposite.

Light can only exist in relation to darkness, within creation as a whole and within each aspect of that creation.

As above, so below.

Microcosm, macrocosm.

That is the dualistic nature of creation. When the duality ceases all is One, manifest reality ceases to be.


This is the goal of the Kriya Yogi; to transcend attachment/aversion to the dualistic reality, the cosmic drama, and realize, to know through direct experience, the Oneness of existence.


The One field of infinite consciousness that we call God is our very own nature, the essence of our being. We only appear to be individual souls, in Truth there is only one soul manifesting in infinite forms to experience itself.


Aversion to the darkness is the opposite and equal to being attached to the light.

In darkness we have fear and desire to experience light. In light we become attached and fear return to darkness.

In either case we are caught in the trap.

To recognize this truth, to live in a blackwhite world while our awareness is clear and grounded in the realization of Oneness is to be living free. Playing our role in the drama of life without being caught up in it.

Thus we become the Cosmic Dancer - Nataraj.

Love is . . .

. . . this.

I speak,
you listen,
love flows.

a pause . . .

You speak,
I listen,
love flows.

a pause . . .

we breathe,
together,
love flows.

a pause . . .

love flows.

no pause,

love flows . . .

endlessly.

If it Hurts . . .

. . . is it still love?

Of course,

there can be nothing else.

There are times when the flow of the water is too great

for the river to contain.

Banks burst,

the planes flood,

destruction is everywhere,

But once the waters subside and the flow has calmed again

we see how clean and clear and fresh everything is.

(Look out, life is coming!)

All the debris and dead wood of the past swept away to leave the fresh

readiness of this season's new growth.

Is that not the hand of Love?

Not of This Earth

My love for you is not of this earth.

It comes from the place where silence is born
and moves me with the power of thunder.

As the poet loves the rose,
so the fragrance of your beauty fills me.

As the artist loves the lone gull's flight across an ocean sunset
so I long to capture your essence and show it to the world.

You are my drunkard's wine.

Your presence like air to the bird,
in knowing you my soul soars.

The mystics of old knew something of my passion,
the prayer on their lips,
the long quiet hours of seeking within,
the ceaseless longing for a glimpse of the Infinite,
a whisper of Truth . . .

These, the humblest offerings of humanity to the Divine.

But now,

I have seen your face

and the Gods are jealous.

Understanding

What you fail to understand

is that understanding obscures Truth.


If you truly understand anything

then do not try to understand this.

Love?

Why talk to me of love?

Love does not exist,

it is merely an idea,

a concept

designed

to take the mind

to that place of surrender

where God can enter.


However,

it is the most important concept

that you will ever

fail

to understand.

More Of Love

Love,

true love,

real love,

LOVE!

is

quite simply,

Everything.


When we are so open that all of existence pours through our being,

all the joy and the pain,

the happiness and the sorrow,

the tears,

memories,

longing,

laughter,

hopes,

dreams,

all of it,

when we can just let go and allow all of That to flow through our being like the banks that hold the flowing river,

then, perhaps, we can say we have tasted of love.

For love is just that,

the acceptance of All,

all that is in this very moment.

The Seed

Sat-Chit-Ananda

Being-Consciousness-Bliss

That pure state of perfect stillness,

The Seed.


Love is everything else.



Love is what grows from the seed,

Love is what is lived

and love is the death at the end of the cycle.


Love is what drives the life,

sustains the life

and love is what brings one life to an end

so another may begin.


But the seed never changes,

it is always there,

pure,

unchanging,

infinite potential without form or restriction of any kind.


So you see, even love itself is an impurity to such exquisitely sublime stillness


but we'll forgive it for now.

Falling to Freedom, the Art of Letting Go

Why fall?

Because in falling we surrender, if only for a split second before we hit the floor.

In that moment our fear overwhelms us, the flight or fight response hasn't yet made it's choice, panic freezes our mind.

For a second there is no thought

quiet without the mental chatter

freedom from thought

freedom from expectation

freedom from judgements

fears

hopes

memories

without action

the silent mind is free

to experience pure being

without the static of thought

hence

the fall to freedom.

The fall need not be literal, the moment you face your fears, quit your shit job, ask the girl you love on a date, tell your partner it's over, spread your arms wide before jumping off the high dive board, . . . each of these moments, and many more like them in everyday life, is a step out of conditioned behaviour, the familiar programme ceases to run in our minds and for a moment we are without commentary, we don't know this experience and we have no way to predict or calculate an outcome, we are falling, and we are free.

Do new things, frequently, for in these moments the mind is open, there is silence and we are at one with the existence, we are life experiencing itself.

So find a metaphorical ledge in your day, step to the edge, feel the exhilaration as you step off the edge and fall . . . . .

I can't guarantee the outcome will be any good, I'm only talking about the pure moment of the first step over the edge, what happens after that is unknown, this wouldn't work if it wasn't. But let's not be silly about this, we are adults after all.

I'm told skydiving is good, riding a motorbike really fast works wonders too, but there are obvious drawbacks there, I'm still limping 8 years later.

Personally I use meditation now, the final letting go of ego where the personality dissolves, that's a fresh moment, the dissolution of your entire known reality, and the fall can go on and on . . . until mind snaps back

and you find yourself standing on the ledge . . .

to step off

again

silently

f

a

l

l

i

n

g

t

o

freedom.

Why not?

It's more fun than thinking about stuff that it's too late to do or worrying about things that will probably never happen.